My non-internet diary ended up in my tote bag the other day. It was terrifying.
I prefer to keep my journals buried under unassuming items in my closet or stashed in the same drawer eternally. What if I lost it? Worse, what if someone found it?
But, when a friend was running late to meet me at a brewery and the sun was setting through the trees, I was grateful for the journal/tote bag mishap and the fact that I had it with me. It was one of the most grounding moments I’d had all week, maybe all month… me, a wheat beer and my pen and paper.
Today’s newsletter is about all things journaling/diary keeping. The highs, the lows… the pens to use so you don’t smear your writing.
There’s lots of change happening around here. All good things! For one, I’ve been working hard on creating the official site, clairesperfectworld.com, now up for your viewing pleasure! The purpose is to be a landing pad for CPW and CPW adjacent things, not just the newsletter.
And on that note, I’ve been doing some mini brainstorming sessions and dreaming up where else I can take this thing. It was about time there was an official Instagram account (you can follow now at @clairesperfectworld), but I’ve also decided to start Claire’s Perfect Podcast! It’s not the traditional podcast format, though. Each week I’ll be reading through the newsletter to provide a more chatty audio alternative for my non-readers out there. If that sounds like you, stop what you’re doing right now and go listen! It won’t be vastly different than the written version, but there’s definitely some more adlibbing and ~color~, if you will.
Thank you to everyone who has read and subscribed so far. I love dumping my thoughts for myself, but I especially love dumping my thoughts for other people to chime in on, too!
In other news: I did some personal accounting the other day, and by that I mean I took all of my gift cards collecting dust in my wallet and checked to see how much money was actually on all of them. I recommend doing the same if you have a gift card pile up - I was pleasantly surprised! I ended up having a significant amount of cash to spend at Anthropologie, so of course I bought a pair of red Uggs. Something tells me you’ll be seeing them soon.
I once wrote these words in another CPW story: “I trust a person based on how many empty journals they have lying around. Well that isn’t totally true, but can’t we all relate to having random journals and diaries that are half filled, then never to be used again?”
The thing is, that’s still true for me. Journaling is hard. But why? We love to talk about ourselves and we have thoughts ping-ponging around in our head literally all of the time. For me, I always felt like my brain moved faster than my hands could write. I also felt like my journaling was always so rigid. If I wasn’t recapping the last 3 months of my life in perfect detail, it wasn’t worth the entry.
I’ve slowly become better (?) at journaling, and there are multiple things I can accredit that to!
Don’t be precious with it.
I’m not really a perfectionist, but somehow I’d become that way in my journaling. I was putting so much pressure on myself to write down the “right things,” which doesn’t even make sense in the first place. I even stressed about how I started and ended each entry. “Dear Diary,” and “Love, Claire” felt elementary. No intro felt unfinished. Now, I semi-have it down. The only must haves for each entry are the time, the date and my location. The location was something I added that I feel like really adds color to each entry. I can look back and see where I was emotionally, but where I was physically too, which a lot of times really informs the words I was writing down. 2 AM in my bedroom and 8 AM on the front porch definitely have different vibes. As for the content, I let go. For each normal page of “today I feel like this,” I have pages of poems or movie quotes or song lyrics. The litmus test is a simple “does this speak to me?” If yes, it’s going in. My journal sums me up better now than it ever did before, all because I cared a little less.
Pick the right pen!
I might be revealing myself here as complete psychopath, but the second my pen smears, all bets are off. I’m done. Journal time is over. That entry is now dead to me and is also a complete eyesore! I’ve gotten seduced by sparkly gel pens or whatever flashy new writing utensil Paper Mate debuts, but I’ve found that ol’ reliable is reliable for a reason. A classic ballpoint pen does the trick just fine. My favorite is the BIC Round Stic Xtra Life Ballpoint Pen; it glides across the paper which minimizes that issue I was talking about earlier where my hand can’t keep up with my brain, or it just starts cramping up while I’m writing. The devil really is in the details, and using my favorite pen definitely upped my journaling game.
Get help!
Your staring at a blank page. The blank page is staring back at you. You have a million things you want to process or recap or document, but your mind is empty. I found myself having this problem, so I sought some third party help with prompts! Lucky for us, there’s a whole journaling community out there that wants to help you with your blank page brain. I found Hannah Notes Moer, a fellow Substack newsletter, with journaling prompts/ideas for days. You can also consult Google, where even more people have shared lists upon lists of prompts. If you cant’t kickstart an entry on your own, getting help and using a prompt can definitely get you moving.
Do what works for you.
For the longest time, I typed my journal entries. I still do open up a Google Doc on occasion and brain dump. I liked to type because I felt like I could get my feelings out faster, but then I missed the idea of having a tangible paper journal. I also use the Five Minute Journal, and have for years. While I enjoy the occasional out of control scribble rant on a blank page, I also wanted something that would be a consistent snapshot of each day with a little more structure. I’ve also seen people opt for video diaries on their computer. My journaling preferences have changed over time, and my thoughts and feelings are scattered across multiple pages across multiple mediums. I was the most consistent and successful in my journaling when I just did what felt right!
I’ve found a lot of value in documenting my life thus far by journaling. For posterity, but also as catharsis! If you’re a consistent, long time journal keeper, I’m jealous. If you haven’t kept a journal a day in your life, why not start now?
In my perfect world… you’ll wish me luck as I continue on the shopping fast I’m on. It’s been hard. Thank you for your support.